As soon as you meet some people, you can capture the whiff of their negative aura and presence from a safe distance. When they arrive, you know trouble arrives. We all have such people in some part of our life. Either at our work place or in our family and friend circle. But if we are jinxed, they appear everywhere.


Having read several spiritual books, I absorbed am important point made by the authors, or as they call them – the enlightened ones. Humans, who derive happiness from other people’s unhappiness, fall in the lowest rung of humanity. Really? Oh please, that is so not me! If that’s your first reaction, then indefinitely you have heaved a sigh of relief at someone else’s loss. Even if it means it’s not your gain. We all have!


Trying really hard on a daily basis to pull myself out of the day to day human drama, (believe me I am not trying to blow my own trumpet nor am I flattering myself) I have started noticing a lot of nuances in others, which I may have missed as a participant in the role-playing. It is tough to see it as it is, at least till you are a part of it. But once you start viewing your own actions and that of others as a spectator, you realize the silliness of things.


Let me share an incident to make my point clear. I was out with some people for dinner; few colleagues and acquaintances. One of the colleagues was excitedly flaunting her new digital camera. She loved everything about it; the blue color, the clarity and the fact that it was so sleek and chic. Anyone, sitting at that table would have witnessed her joy. Suddenly one person at the table grabbed her camera, checked it out and said “My sister had this cam; her panel came off in like two weeks. My friend’s niece also has it and she told me that it’s a pathetic gadget. The battery dies really fast. After that, all of us decided never to go for this one.”


Ok now I know a gadget is just a gadget and nothing more than that. And I am sure she didn’t take it to heart or cry buckets. But that didn’t stop me from analyzing. Someone has spent money on something and is very excited about it. And how nasty do you have to be to make such remarks. It would have been valid if the feedback was given before it was bought. But what’s the point now? This kind of behavior pattern is often common in people who love to hog the limelight. They become uncomfortable and almost hysterical if someone else grabs the attention focus, even if it is for a little while.


I guess, this is also true of people who are highly critical of others. They always have some or the other viewpoint of how others should be doing certain things differently. As the saying goes “My business doesn’t interest me so much, so I might as well intrude in yours.”


Coming to the important point in this article, how do you handle these people? With compassion? By putting them in their place? Or by letting things fall on deaf ear? Well, to begin with, try and remember that only those who are hurting can say hurtful things to others. So only a highly troubled individual with dense pain can cause you hurt. Now I am not saying that you take low blows, or put forth your right cheek after getting a slap on the left one. Because, let’s face it no matter how pious we may be, but we are still not going to take bullshit from others. However, we can start by mirroring the behavior of these so called “difficult people”. Because once you see your actions clearly, with awareness, there is no choice but to change. It is an irreversible path, and it’s not easy!