Have you ever been in an argument and behaved like your life depends on winning it? Worse, have you noticed two people in a sharp discussion trying to prove different points? It's bizarre if not outright scary.

The other day I was reading an article on a popular entertainment website wherein a contributor had mentioned how she likes actress A so much more than actress B. Then, in the comment section, the real fun began. There were people who unapologetically denied her viewpoint and others accused her of being gay! I was truly amazed. Here is a page where complete strangers are fumed and agitated, fighting over two women, who don't even know that they exist!

But then our day to day arguments aren't any different. This sort of behavior is highly prominent in offices also, especially in small teams with one leader. And if by chance a person refuses to follow "You don't tell me what to do, I tell you what to do" rule, then God save the team members from the havoc. In such cases, the work and deadlines take the backseat and over inflated egos immediately come in the driver's seat.

A typical Taurean, I used to hate it when these stubborn egoistic individuals used to have it their way. I used to spend endless amount of energy and time trying to prove how what they are doing is so wrong. Conclusion? Nothing did really change. At the most I could guard the way their interaction changed with me, but my motive of making them realize what was going on failed miserably.

Situations that often happen in our lives may not always be in our control. Sometimes because of the relationship we share with the other person we may feel completely tongue tied to point out a certain behavior pattern. There is, however, a fine line between having a difference of opinion and trying to bash someone else's point of view. And the people on the other side have years and years of experience in making sure that they always have the last word.

Some may do it very cunningly, while others, the more insensitive ones will just do it without inhibitions or calculations. But then who can attack you if you are not standing there in an "I am ready to defend myself position". The ego in you or in others bloats only when it is fed. If we don't defend then how will the fight ever happen? I mean, shadow fighting can't go on forever, can it?

I also had to learn this the hard way. At first, I would prepare myself in advance during a meeting with a person suffering from the Queen Bee Syndrome. I would tell myself, that this time around I will make sure that he (usually she) doesn't act smart. But then I realized an important thing. Am I not giving out too much power by doing this? I am still not quite there yet, but every now and then, I catch myself and immediately undo the defending position I am standing in.