Ahimsa is non violence, not hurting or harming of other living beings or yourself in thought, word or deed. It is a passive state which simply says that “I will not hurt you”. This of course does not guarantee that you will not be hurt since we create our own wounds and our own misery.

When a yogi gets established in ahimsa, life becomes absolutely non violent towards the yogi. Life is not a doer, it is simply a mirror and it reflects us. The responsibility for what life has offered us is a result of our choices. We have the freedom to choose happiness or misery at any given moment. In the beginning this freedom feels like a huge burden because we can no longer lay the blame for our circumstances on anything outside ourselves. However, this freedom also brings power; all you need to do is choose to be happy.

Unfortunately humans are not able to reflect correctly, we have gathered so much rubbish, so many fixed attitudes, beliefs and ideologies that our mirror is covered in dust. One of the causes of our suffering is avidya or ignorance which makes us mistake the non eternal for the eternal, the impure for the pure, the painful as pleasurable and the non-self as self.

So maybe choosing happiness is not as simple as it seems! If life is offering us violence at this moment, it is a good time to think about what choices we have made in life and how we can choose happiness and peace for the future. Change is the result of awareness, patience, acceptance and perseverance. Every little step you take immediately gives you many rewards, which encourage the next baby step.

Why do domestic abuse victims see the abuse dynamic in their home, but fail to recognize it in their divorce proceedings?

The answer to this question is the same answer to the question, "Why doesn't she awaken to the abuse in her home?" You know the answer: she is part of the very dynamic for which she seeks remedy.

Here are some common and deadly mistakes victims of domestic violence make as they navigate the system en route to divorce closure and protection from abuse.

1) Failure to recognize the possibility (much less the reality) of the abuse dynamic between themselves and their own attorneys.

2) Failure to realize how their divorce lawyer's fees will be paid after the initial retainer runs out.

3) Failure to understand the impact of "He who pays directs what is placed before the court."

4) Failure to appreciate that abuse is about control in family court, too.

5) Failure to know the difference between "use of legal process" and "abuse of legal process."

6) Failure to grasp the distinction between what is truly within their domain and what lies in the domain of their opposition.

7) Failure to know successful warfare strategies, much less how to put them into place in the context of their divorce.

If you are seeking remedy for abuse via family court, first ask yourself if you are ready to end being abused. Because, if you haven't fully digested and answered this question, chances are you are going from the frying pan to the fire of legal domestic abuse.