My Experience: Dani is the author of Positively Present. Positively Present focuses on all things positive -- quotes, books, stories, songs, situations, people, blogs, websites, ideas, images, notions, emotions. Anything and everything positive has a home here. Check out http://www.positivelypresent.com/ for more.
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"It's not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong;
not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich;
not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned;
and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity."

Francis Bacon

During my weekly therapy session this week, the topic of integrity came up. "What is integrity?" my therapist asked me. I stared blankly at her. I knew what it was. At least I thought I did...Immediately after our session, I rushed back to work and Googled "integrity." Of course I came across some of the most interesting things...The first thing I stumbled upon was the definition of the word. According to Merriam-Webster's online dictionary, integrity is: (1) adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values; (2) an unimpaired condition; (3) the quality or state of being complete or undivided. Hmmm...not quite what came to mind when I thought about integrity. I decided to give WikiAnswers a shot. Here are some of the ideas others posted when asked the question "What is integrity?":

"Integrity is a very nice balance of self respect and confidence. Integrity comes from the Greek words 'integritas' and 'integra' meaning whole. It enters into any aspect of one's life. It's belief system without faltering no matter how dangerous, how unpopular the person makes themselves to others. Integrity includes: sincerity, keeping one's word and agreements, honesty, truthfulness, ethics, fairness and justice, punctuality and never faltering in what one believes in. Integrity is keeping your good name/character (assuming that it is good). Integrity is having values, being consistent with one's values or belief system, not wavering due to outside influences, standing strong in how one should live and believe. Integrity is always doing the right thing even when no one else is looking. Integrity refers to wholeness as a human being. It means that you have developed into a person whose thoughts, words, and actions are congruent, and therefore do not conflict with each other."

After reading those points I now have a better understanding of what integrity means, both in a literal sense and a general sense. I feel like I have a handle on understanding it now, but does that mean I have it? I'll be honest: I think I possess integrity in certain situations. In others, I seem to take my integrity and chuck it out the window. Every day I'm learning more who I am and who I want to be and I can say for certain that I want to be a person with a lot of integrity. To me, being a person with integrity means being a good person. But what is a "good" person? The word is so subjective. The world is so subjective as well. It's hard to know what "good" really means in relation to a person's integrity. So instead of trying to be a good person, I'm going to work on being a G.O.O.D. person. What is a G.O.O.D. person, exactly? Well, if you want to know more it looks like you'll just have to keep on reading!


A G.O.O.D. Person Is...

Genuinely interested in giving to others. Most people would probably say they are giving, but are they really? Do they put the needs of others before their own desires (or, at least, in line with their own needs)? Having a genuine interest in the lives of others is one of the surest signs of good character that I've ever seen. It says a lot about a person when s/he listens, gives, cares, and needs other people. Giving is not always about money or even time. Giving is also about putting in mental effort to one's own beliefs and core values so that one can make a better, bigger difference in the lives of others. Being content with oneself and having a clear understanding of what one believes in is actually a form of giving to others. When you work to become right with who you are, to know who you are and believe in that person, you are giving back to the world. For example, the happier I become as a person (yes, it's happening...slowly but surely...), the more positive energy I give off to the world. I smile more. I laugh more. I hug more. I interact more with other people. These are small gifts to the world, but they can, when added up, have a huge impact on the lives of others. These little things are things we can all do to make the world a better place, to live lives as G.O.O.D. people.


Open-minded to opportunity. While a person with integrity should define and stay true to his or her beliefs, a person with integrity is not limited by these beliefs. They should be the foundations of that person but they are foundations that can be built upon. When I think of the word "integrity," what immediately pops into my mind is a boring, rigid, reliable person. Who wants to be that? Not me (well, except for the reliable part). I want to be interesting, exciting, and flexible. I want to be able to build upon the structure of beliefs that I believe are my foundation, and I want to be able to do this while still keeping my integrity. Is that possible? Yes, I believe it is. It's possible to have standards and values and to keep those in mind in everything you do while still being open to new opportunities and ideas. It's so important to stay true to yourself while also being open to others' ideas. If we aren't living open-minded lives, we're forced into tiny boxes of our own beliefs, which may not always be the best ones. I really believe that a G.O.O.D. person is an open-minded person.



One with his/her self and the world. To me, good people are those who see the big picture, who know that life is about more than their own selfish needs. These types of people, sadly, are not all that easy to come by. For example, last night I was on the Metro (the subway system in Washington DC) on my way to see Beyonce perform and, as luck would have it there was also a Nationals (baseball) game going on at the same time. This means the Metro was very crowded. Everyone was squished together and it was not pleasant. When a man in a wheelchair entered the train I was on, everyone was forced to move even closer together (drawing some serious looks of annoyance from some people). At one stop many people were getting off to attend the concert or go to the game and were pushing the man in the wheelchair and exclaiming things that implied their desire for him to move. Personally, this was one of the most selfish things I've witnessed. No one stopped to think about what it might have been like to have been him, probably feeling bad for blocking the way. Everyone was concerned with his or her own plans and destinations. Someone with a sense of self and a good, honest understanding of how s/he fits in the world around him/her would never have acted the way these people acted. Being G.O.O.D. means being able to see that the world is about more than what's going on in your body and its immediate surroundings. It means seeing the world as a whole, as something you are part of (rather than something you're the center of), which isn't always easy.



Dedicated to making life meaningful. Life is meant to be lived with a purpose, with meaning. (At least, that's what I believe.) I also believe that everyone's purpose or meaning for life is unique. Your life's meaning could come from your profession, from your children, from your contributions to your community. Your life's meaning could come from your art, from your spouse, from your volunteer work. In fact, your meaning could come from all of these things at once. Your life is unique to you, and you have to be dedicated to that life in order to be truly G.O.O.D. Life is a gift and it is one we all too easily accept greedily, expecting it and demanding it. But a person with true integrity recognizes the value not only of his/her meaning, but the value of the lives of others. A person with integrity stays true to his/her purpose without devaluing the purpose of another's life. A person with integrity knows what his/her purpose is and works toward it without trampling on the lives of others. This is not always easy to do when presented with a situation that forces you to choose between meeting a goal and damaging someone's goal. A lot of people choose themselves. A lot of people avoid, hurt, cheat, lie, steal, and deceive to get what it is that they want. Not a person with integrity. No, a G.O.O.D. person works towards his/her purpose without causing intentional damage to the lives of others.



So, I bet you're all dying to know if I'm a G.O.O.D. person. Well, yes and no. I do what I can to treat people fairly and honestly. I do my best to be sincere and to stick unwaveringly to my moral values. Am I perfect? Hell no! I've made a lot of mistakes. I've hurt a lot of people (including myself). I've strayed so far from some of my core values that I couldn't even see them with a pair of binoculars in hand. But I'm learning. I'm learning more and more that I'd rather be a person of integrity than achieve whatever current desire I'm seeking. I'd rather be a G.O.O.D. person and see the big picture of my life and the world rather than satisfy my latest whim. It's not always easy. Sometimes I want to take the easy way out, as I'm sure we all probably want to do from time to time. I know I say this a lot, but every day I'm learning more about what it means to be happy with myself and the world I live in. The more confident I become with who I am, the more I truly love myself, the easier it becomes to be a G.O.O.D. person -- a person of integrity.