Dealing With Decidophobia
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Do you ever struggle with decision-making? Life is full of seemingly important decisions that we make each and every day: On and on, life is filled with an endless array of decisions. Some major that seem to influence and affect our lives in deep ways, others in minor ways. Every day we are confronted with decisions that have to be made. Interestingly, I used to have a very difficult time making decisions - a really difficult time. I would ruminate endlessly. My thoughts would argue back and forth, “Should I do this?” “Should I do that.” “What about this?” “What about that?” “What if?” “What if not?” It created a lot of angst and anxiety for me, and needless to say made me a difficult person to live with to say the least. People tried to reach out and help me. I saw one renowned cognitive-behavior psychologist who told me to write down a “pro-and-con list”. I thought to myself, “I paid you $200 an hour to tell me to create a pro-and-con list?????” In my experience, a pro-and-con list is utterly unhelpful and just creates more mental turbulence and trouble. Why is this so? In my experience, the answer to a troubled mind is not to be found in the mind. Let me explain. The inability to make a decision is simply the reflection of a restless mind. You worry, you ruminate, you ponder in frustration as you try to make a good decision. The problem is that the more you try, the more anxious you become, and the deeper the hole you dig for yourself. The more you worry about the decision, the more endless the cycle becomes. The solution to indecisiveness, to anxiety, to any mental health problem or difficulty is to step out of the mind. That is right - the only solution is to go beyond the mind. In my experience, when we struggle with decision-making, it is because we consider the universe to be outside of ourselves. This is not a conscious thought, rather it is a subconscious belief for the vast majority of people. You consider the universe to be outside of yourself, and therefore perceive that you somehow have to make some “right” and “perfect” decision in order to create the desired result that you want, which is ultimately to be happy. You believe that the mind is what allows you to make decisions, so you ruminate, weigh pro’s and con’s, and struggle to make the “right” decision, which in my experience only creates more turbulence internally. For effortless decision-making, explore another possibility: From a practical standpoint, and since the mind usually wants something to do, try this step-by-step process for making decisions effortlessly: Next, set an intention. For example, “I allow myself to make the perfect decision regarding (fill in the blank).” Then, let go of this intention and become receptive and be open to what the universe sends. Become aware of how different possibilities feel in your body. Remind yourself that the universe will always help carry you to your goals. Be open and “listen” to the messages the universe sends your way. Always remember this: you are not limited to your body-mind. You are the expansive power of the cosmos. As you shift your identity from small ego-mind to one of openness and receptivity, you will happily discover that decisions tend to make themselves with effortless ease.
The universe is you - you simply need to listen. Apply yourself to one task - learn how to listen. The universe is part of you; think of the environment as your extended body. Everyone and everything around you is an expression of yourself. That is, you are not an isolated individual. You are, in fact, part of the fabric of the cosmos.
When you approach decision-making from this vantage point, you will discover that decisions make themselves. Then, you simply need to Start Listening and Stop Preventing. Open yourself to the universe, and allow it to deliver your decisions to you.
First, remind yourself that you are not separate from the world; the world is not separate from you.