My Experience: Sarah Maria is a body-image expert who helps people learn how to love their bodies and love their lives. Her book, Love Your Body, Love Your Life, will be available in November '09. She combines ancient spiritual wisdom with modern transformational techniques to help people create a body and a life that they love. Her work has been endorsed by well-known authors and spiritual teachers, including Deepak Chopra and Marci Shimoff (featured teacher in The Secret), among others, as well as by numerous physicians and psychologists. Learn more about her and her work at www.breakfreebauty.com.
Description:
Obsession with body and weight and subsequent disordered eating is a painful journey of chasing an illusion. Many women, and a grown number of men, are driven by a compulsive need to have the “perfect body”, and will go to any length to achieve this. The problem is that this involves fighting against ourselves and reality on a daily basis. This process is exhausting and never results in anything other than suffering.

Whenever we fight against change, we suffer. Anorexia and bulimia involve an attempt to control our bodies and our lives and keep everything the same. We have a mind-set, “I have to remain at this specific weight,” and we fight relentlessly to maintain that weight. The problem is that the body naturally fluctuates. Body weight naturally changes throughout the day, throughout the month, and throughout the years of our lives. Our bodies grow older; our skin changes; our hair changes; our bodies constantly and consistently change. Anorexia and bulimia provide no room for this natural change and fluctuation.

One doesn’t need to have an eating disorder to be chasing the illusion, however. Most women in this culture have a distorted body image that keeps them constantly yearning to be different from how they are. The body that is promoted in the media is the body that no one actually has – it is a body young, perfectly tone, fit, and blemish-free. It is the body of a photograph, not the body of a human being.

Yet we continue to fight fiercely for the illusion. We go on diet after diet, get face lifts and liposuction, and attempt to not experience the reality of life, the reality of change. As long as we continue to grasp after an idealized version of the human body, while forsaking the body that we have right now, we will suffer. We will suffer because we are trying to run away from reality, which is impossible; we are chasing an illusion, which will never materialize.

This is not to say we can’t make healthy lifestyle choices and develop a healthier body – of course we can. There can be positive changes to our body, such as greater fitness, health, and vibrancy. It is when we cling and grasp after these changes that we suffer. It is when we need our body to look a certain way in order to feel good about ourselves that we suffer. It is when we run away from the reality of our bodies and chase a photographic mirage that we suffer.
If you want to live a life of peace, joy, and love with your body, you must begin to accept your body as it is. You must learn to cultivate love and appreciation, and let go of grasping after an illusion.

This is a process, and a great exercise to practice body-acceptance is the Mirror Exercise:


Before you go to bed at night, stand in front of the mirror with your clothes off. Notice your tendency to judge or criticize your body. Gently let go of the judgment and instead focus on what you appreciate about your body. It can be something small, perhaps just the fact that your body has healed you of illness, or perhaps just your big toe. Pick something about your body that you appreciate. Offer yourself the gratitude and appreciation that you deserve. Over time you can transform your criticism and your judgment into appreciation, love, and gratitude.

As you practice accepting your body as it is, while letting go of your illusion of how it should be, you can cultivate a relationship of peace, harmony, laughter, and love with your body and yourself.