Letting go is the key to restoring both your peace of mind and your effectiveness.

At any moment, your life is exactly the way that it is. You are the way you are and the people in your life are exactly the way that they are.

When you fight and resist the way your life is, you create a state of fear, upset and tunnel vision. This destroys your ability to see clearly and almost always makes your situation worse.

To handle a situation, you need action, not resisting. Resisting keeps you from seeing the action that you need to take.

If you could let go of your resisting, you would restore your ability to see clearly. You would see what needs to be done and you could take the action you need to effectively handle your situation.

To see an example of what happens when you “let go”, find a time when you were actively resisting something, and then you stopped. You said, “The heck with it,” and you moved on with your life.

Notice what happened the moment you let go of the resisting. You got your peace of mind back. You also saw everything differently. Everything looked different because the tunnel vision was no longer there.

Now notice what happened to this area of your life. It started clearing up. Life always takes care of itself when we get our egos out of the way. "Letting go" is the inner action that stops the resisting which in turn removes the fear, upset and tunnel vision.

When you let go, you restore your ability to see clearly. You become creative and able to discover solutions you could never have seen before.

How letting go works.

To see how the process of letting go works, look at the nature of fear. Fear is created by avoiding and resisting a future event. For example, let's say that you are married and you have a fear of your spouse leaving.

The more you resist this future event, the greater your fear. The greater your fear, the more you get threatened. The more you get threatened the more you hang on. The more you hang on, the more you push the person away. By resisting the future event, you create a process that tends to bring you the very event that you are avoiding. This is the nature of fear.

To stop this process and to have any fear lose its power, you need to do the opposite of what creates it. Instead of resisting the future event, be willing for the future event to happen. Now, this doesn’t mean that you will the event to happen or that you want it to happen.

Nor does it mean that you will stand by and let it happen. Letting go is strictly a state of mind and is totally separate from your actions. Letting go is what removes the fear, upset and tunnel vision so that you can see what action works.

In your heart, be willing for your fear to come true, but in your actions, do everything you can to make sure it doesn’t happen. The moment you become willing for your fear to come true, fear, upset and tunnel vision lose their power. You restore your peace of mind and this area of life begins to clear up.

You let go by granting permission. "I am willing for my spouse to leave." I give my spouse full permission to be exactly the way he or she is." "I am willing to lose my home."

Be willing for your life to be however it is and to become however it may become. Let go of your demands for how life should be and set yourself free inside. Then take whatever action you need to have your life be great.

How to let go

To make the process of letting go a little easier, there are two very important steps that you can take. The first step is trusting. Trust that no matter what happens, you will be okay.

Now this doesn’t mean that life will turn out the way you want. Life often doesn’t. Trust is knowing that even if your greatest fears come true, you will be okay.

When you know that you will be okay no matter what happens, letting go becomes relatively easy. You then let go and life works out fine. This reinforces trust. When you don't trust, life becomes very difficult. You fight, resist, hang on and withdraw. This makes everything worse, which reinforces "don't trust."

Ultimately, trust is a choice. It’s something that you create. It's a declaration. "I will be okay no matter what happens. I trust, just because I say so."

Trust is also telling the truth. You really will be fine no matter what happens. You have had tough times before and you have gotten past all of them. If you are in a tough time now, this too will pass.

Life is only threatening when you resist. So stop resisting and trust. Trust that no matter what happens, you will be fine. If you are engaged in your spirituality, the most powerful way to let to of the resisting and hanging on is to give your situation to God. It’s amazing, but life always seems to clear up when you do this.

The second and most important step in the process of letting go is to be willing to feel your hurt. This is important because it's the automatic avoidance of the hurt that forces us to resist.

We think that we're resisting certain circumstances but we're not. We are resisting all the feelings and emotion that are being reactivated by the circumstances.

More accurately, we are resisting a very specific hurt from the past. We are resisting the hurt of feeling not good enough, worthless, not worth loving, failure, or some other form of feeling not okay.

Once you find and heal this hurt, the need to resist or hang on loses power. You can then let go and take the action you need to effectively handle your situation.

Finding and healing this hurt is one of the most important things you can ever do. This hurt is responsible for all your fear and all your upsets. It is responsible for all your self-sabotaging behavior and ultimately, all of your suffering.

In relationships, the automatic avoidance of this hurt destroys love, creates conflict and pushes people away.

If you want to make a profound difference in your relationships, attend our workshops, make an appointment, and get the Mastery of Life Audio Course.