Dealing With Negative Emotions
List All Expert Tips :
Description:
Today I woke up in a perfectly good mood, somewhere along the way, I found myself snapping at my housekeeper and my father's friend who called to chat. Almost immediately I realised I was being mean and went out of my way to make amends. As I sat there feeling guilty about my bad behaviour, I realised this stressed out feeling and lack of patience was not my own. I was picking it up from my friend, who had a number of perfectly valid reasons to be stressed out!
Unconsciously we pick up negativity from other people and then pass it on as if it was ours. Holding on to anger is like holding on to a hot coal with which we intend to burn others. We end up burning our self first - Buddha Here we are picking up other people's anger and burning our self for no reason at all! So how about sharing a feeling of Friendliness or Maitri with other people with the same generosity we show when sharing our bad mood!
Osho says very wisely that if it is difficult to share friendly feelings with people, start with nature. Be friendly to the sun, moon, stars, trees, plants and animals. Its much easier. What is now considered to be Pagan Nature worship helped nurture this seed of friendliness, love and compassion we all have in us. I had Pudding, my delightful street dog spend the day with me and it worked like a charm! :)
Yoga talks about 4 social attitudes or Parikarmas - Maitri (Friendliness) - Developing this feeling of friendliness towards all things, not just your friends, family or the beautiful or lovable but towards all beings and all things in all situations. Mudita (Joy) - Choosing to maintain your peace and joyfulness in all situations. Karuna (Compassion)- The ability to empathise with some one's misery and to act in whatever way we can to reduce it. Upeksha (Indifference) - Showing indifference to the negative qualities we see in others or situations and instead focusing on the good.
This does not mean we need to become doormats, it simply suggests that you look for the good in every person and situation instead of the bad.
Description:
I think of love as a universal potion or glue that binds us all together. Love has been called a lot of things, from the ultimate high to a dangerous psychosis. It is certainly at the core of self growth and spirituality. The topic of love is broad, but we can narrow the focus by exploring the opposite of love. Consider the following collection of negative emotions:
anxiety, anger, shame, guilt, loneliness,
jealousy, envy, regret, unfriendliness,
feeling insulted, feeling abandoned,
need to control, need to be right,
feeling judgmental, feeling worried,
resentment, embarrassment, panic,
feeling unloved, depression
It’s quite a collection of negative emotions, but consider what they all have in common. They all share three related things:
They all function to defend your ego; that is to say, they are all ego-based emotions.
The second characteristic shared by all the negative emotions is that they are all rooted in fear. Fear is the negative emotion which underlies all the others. And the ultimate ego fear is the fear of annihilation.
Finally all of the negative emotions in one way or another involve distancing yourself from others, emphasizing separateness and isolation. Separateness and isolation are, of course, characteristics of ego.
If you don’t like the word ego, just notice how personal all the negative, fear-based emotions are; they are about you alone, not about your relation to others. Ego emotions are personal and exclusive. You might at first view an emotion like jealousy as interpersonal, but just think about how isolated and alone jealous people tend to be.
Love is the opposite of fear. Love is about connection, not isolation. And the stronger is feeling of connection, the more powerful the love. The feelings of love and connection are transpersonal. They reach across the boundaries among people. Love is inclusive, not exclusive like fear.
Love is not based in ego, but comes from your ‘centre.’ Your centre goes by a variety of names: centre, true self, God centre, Christ Centre. The name isn’t important; what is important is recognizing it as a place of authenticity and truth, a place without pretense or conditions, a sacred place at the core of your being. Your centre is the essence of who you are.
In its purest form love is a deep sense of connection with another, with yourself, with all people, with God and with the universe.
Love is the universal glue that binds us all together.
All psychotherapy, religion, meditation, self-help books, counselling and life coaching have one thing in common: they all are aimed at helping you move from the separateness and fear which underlie all ego-based emotions, into the love and connection which emanate from your centre or true self.
Moving from fear to love is the essence of what you gain as you grow personally and spiritually.
As you grow, no matter what your path, you are getting to know yourself at deeper and deeper levels; your ability to love others deepens and broadens. You become increasingly aware of your connection to all others, to life and to the universe.
If being in prayer is to be connected to God or the universe, then a continuous awareness of connection would be to be in prayer 24-7. You would be a living prayer. This would be the ultimate in love and personal/spiritual growth.
Is it possible to reach a state of love where you are a living prayer? I don’t know. What I do know is that as I love and grow, I’m further along that path than I was five years ago, or even one year ago.
I invite you to look inside and be aware of your level of love and connection. Then use that to gauge your progress in personal and spiritual growth.