Dealing With Pain
Created By Kinjal Darukhanawala On 26 May, 2009
List All Expert Tips :
Added By Kinjal Darukhanawala On May 26, 2009, 2:31 am
Country: India
My Experience: Sarah Maria, Body Image Expert
Description:
Author: Sarah Maria
Sarah Maria is a body-image expert who helps people learn how to love their bodies and love their lives. Her book, Love Your Body, Love Your Life, will be available in November'09. She combines ancient spiritual wisdom with modern transformational techniques to help people create a body and a life that they love. Her work has been endorsed by well-known authors and spiritual teachers, including Deepak Chopra and Marci Shimoff (featured teacher in The Secret), among others, as well as by numerous physicians and psychologists. Learn more about her and her work at www.breakfreebauty.com.
The sensation of pain can make it seem difficult to let things go. When life hurts, we tend to want to hold on, as if holding onto our pain will somehow make it feel better. The problem is that the opposite is the case: the more we hold on, the more we suffer. The more we cling, the more pain we create.
Suffering comes because we cannot let pain go. I wrote a while back about learning to be like water, and water always flows. Unfortunately, pain can act as a dam, inhibiting the free flow of energy in our body-minds. And this constriction creates more pain.
Part of what keeps us trapped in suffering is believing that everything is personal. When our heart is broken, we think it is about us. When we experience loss, we think it is about us. We create whole stories about our self-worth, about our lovability, about our worthiness, and about our place in the world, based on this erroneous belief that everything that happens to us is personal.
Let me give you a concrete example:
I was working with a coaching client whose boyfriend broke up with her. He said that he just wasn’t ready for a relationship. When this happened, her heart broke, and she began immediately to tell herself the following story:
“I must be too fat. He doesn’t think I am attractive. He wants to be with someone who is younger, thinner, and prettier than me. If only I were thinner, then he would want to be with me…”
She created an entire story that attributed his behavior to her. She told herself that she had done something wrong; that if only she were different, this wouldn’t have happened. And her story about the pain created much more suffering in her experience.
We all have our stories about our pain, and these stories can serve a purpose. The problem is that the stories can also limit us and keep us trapped.
To facilitate healing, explore a 3-pronged approach for healing your heart:
Honor your unique experience, your unique story. We all deserve unconditional love and support. Your story is important and valuable. An important part of healing is honoring your unique experience, your unique vantage point, your unique story.
After you have honored your pain, your story, your experience, let it go. When you hold onto your story indefinitely, it only creates suffering.
Explore the possibility that nothing is personal. Explore the idea that your pain is not your own, and therefore you can let it go. You no longer have to keep it; you no longer have to hold onto it. Explore the idea that it was never personal.
Description:
Author: Sarah Maria
Sarah Maria is a body-image expert who helps people learn how to love their bodies and love their lives. Her book, Love Your Body, Love Your Life, will be available in November'09. She combines ancient spiritual wisdom with modern transformational techniques to help people create a body and a life that they love. Her work has been endorsed by well-known authors and spiritual teachers, including Deepak Chopra and Marci Shimoff (featured teacher in The Secret), among others, as well as by numerous physicians and psychologists. Learn more about her and her work at www.breakfreebauty.com.
The sensation of pain can make it seem difficult to let things go. When life hurts, we tend to want to hold on, as if holding onto our pain will somehow make it feel better. The problem is that the opposite is the case: the more we hold on, the more we suffer. The more we cling, the more pain we create.
Suffering comes because we cannot let pain go. I wrote a while back about learning to be like water, and water always flows. Unfortunately, pain can act as a dam, inhibiting the free flow of energy in our body-minds. And this constriction creates more pain.
Part of what keeps us trapped in suffering is believing that everything is personal. When our heart is broken, we think it is about us. When we experience loss, we think it is about us. We create whole stories about our self-worth, about our lovability, about our worthiness, and about our place in the world, based on this erroneous belief that everything that happens to us is personal.
Let me give you a concrete example:
I was working with a coaching client whose boyfriend broke up with her. He said that he just wasn’t ready for a relationship. When this happened, her heart broke, and she began immediately to tell herself the following story:
“I must be too fat. He doesn’t think I am attractive. He wants to be with someone who is younger, thinner, and prettier than me. If only I were thinner, then he would want to be with me…”
She created an entire story that attributed his behavior to her. She told herself that she had done something wrong; that if only she were different, this wouldn’t have happened. And her story about the pain created much more suffering in her experience.
We all have our stories about our pain, and these stories can serve a purpose. The problem is that the stories can also limit us and keep us trapped.
To facilitate healing, explore a 3-pronged approach for healing your heart:
Honor your unique experience, your unique story. We all deserve unconditional love and support. Your story is important and valuable. An important part of healing is honoring your unique experience, your unique vantage point, your unique story.
After you have honored your pain, your story, your experience, let it go. When you hold onto your story indefinitely, it only creates suffering.
Explore the possibility that nothing is personal. Explore the idea that your pain is not your own, and therefore you can let it go. You no longer have to keep it; you no longer have to hold onto it. Explore the idea that it was never personal.