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If you use the words “I can't", "I won't", "I don't need to", "why should I try"? With a slight change to the way you talk to yourself you can start to feel good and empower yourself.

You will find what you say to yourself turns out to be true.

Why is this?

Your brain is like a computer and you programme your computer each and every day. Your brain doesn’t ask whether what you are programming is wrong or right, it doesn't know always know what's real or not unless you tell it, it will just accept this information.

For example: If someone you loved has hurt you, you may keep telling yourself that all people who love you will probably hurt you too. Your brain just records this information for reference, its data. Now your brain will think that everyone you ever love will hurt you. Now, do you think this will allow you to behave in an empowered way or make you feel good? Do you think you will attract loving people into your life with this outlook?

Now, what if we instead programmed our brain with some positive information:

"Okay my last lover hurt me and broke my heart - but that's only one person. I'm a good person, lovable and have many loving people in my life who have not hurt me. I know that the right people are coming into my life all the time. If someone hurts me, I will forgive them and let them move on."

Words are empowering.

I can
I want to
I will
I must
I am
I love to

All habits – good and bad take time but by developing new positive ones you can reach a new level of self esteem and confidence. It’s worth practicing this and repeating positive statements over and over until they become a habit.

The Challenge is to try it for a week.

Every time you catch yourself saying, "I can't", when you don't really mean it, instead try saying, "I can", and see how you think and feel about yourself then.

I have a daughter who is nearly three and have been showing her the benefits of this exercise. I hear her saying “Mummy, I can’t get on my bike” I see her struggling and I ask her to say instead “I CAN get on my bike” and then, she says it and like a miracle, the next time she attempts to gets on she gets on. It’s the same with her putting on her shoes or clothes.

This technique is also useful when you can’t find something. For example: instead of saying “I can’t find my keys” or whatever it is you are looking for. Repeatedly say to yourself, or out loud “I CAN find my keys” or even better “I have found my keys”. You'll be surprised at the results. Have you ever looked for your keys and find them plainly insight? This technique really does works, try it next time to prove it to yourself.

Remember, the words you use to empower yourself will have a long lasting positive effect on your life. Practice them and make them become a habit (an acquired behaviour pattern methodically stuck to until it has become instinctive).

They say it takes about one month to develop a habit and after a week, you will see that it starts to become easier.

Good luck and again feed me back your results sophie@happyyoucoaching.co.uk

"Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections" - Anon